news room | hilbert-space
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news room
]

3 minutes

INT. NEWS ROOM – DAY

A feisty CASHIER and a COOK tend to The News Room, an independent Brooklyn bodega.
There are a thousand places like it, theoretically.

I step to the back of the store, joining a line in front of the grill next to a YOUNG WOMAN in her mid-20s, while a MUSTACHED MAN, middle-aged with a foreign accent, approaches.

MUSTACHED MAN

Do you know how to get to Staten Island from here?

ME

Sure. You take the Verrazano Bridge.

MUSTACHED MAN

(to the Young Woman)

See? This is exactly what I was just talking about. There’s only one way to get to Staten Island from hereyou take the Verrazano Bridgejust as there’s only one way to heavenyou take Jesus!

The Young Woman retreats, conspicuously.

CASHIER

(to Moustached Man)

Listen: I don’t know where you think you are, but here in the United States we have this thing called “harassment”. You can’t just say anything you want to a woman, or she’ll call the police and you’ll go to jail.

MUSTACHED MAN

This is a free country. I do what I want.

The Young Woman exits. An older African-American HOMELESS MAN enters. He’s missing a few teeth.

HOMELESS MAN

(to Cashier)

Hey man, why do you hate me so much?

CASHIER

I don’t hate you. Why do you think I hate you?

HOMELESS MAN

Because I need a sandwich, and every time I walk in, you don’t want to make me one.

The Cashier nods to the COOK, who begins making a sandwich for the Homeless Man.

HOMELESS MAN

(cont.)

I slept in the park last night. I’m hungry. Why do you hate me so much?

CASHIER

Becauseyou slept there with my sister?

HOMELESS MAN

(matter of fact)

Well, yesbut no, that’s not it. You’ve hated me since I was born.

CASHIER

Wellthen it’s because you were an ugly baby. You had no teeth.

HOMELESS MAN

(smiles)

But, I don’t have teeth now

CASHIER

(smiles)

Exactly.

The Mustached Man approaches.

MUSTACHED MAN

Do you know how to get to Staten Island from here?

HOMELESS MAN

I don’t care. Today’s not Sunday, and we’re not in church. I don’t want to hear it.

MUSTACHED MAN

You can’t shut me upthis is a free country! How did it make you feel when someone shut up Martin Luther King?

HOMELESS MAN

Listen: you can say whatever you want to say when I’m dead, but you’d better not say anything about Dr. King while I’m alive, or I’ll show YOU the way to heaven!

CASHIER

(to Mustached Man)

Time to go, pal.

The Mustached Man turns toward the door.

MUSTACHED MAN

OK, but I’ll come back when I want. This is a free country!

HOMELESS MAN

So long!

COOK

(to Me)

Here’s your sandwich.

ME

Thanks.

CASHIER

(to Me)

Is this your first time here? We’re not always like thisI don’t want you to think you just walked into a crazy store or something.

ME

No, this isn’t crazy. It’s my life, all the time. Everywhere I go.

The Cashier nods, understandingly.

I drift breathlessly to the street, stalked by scents of sizzling oil